


Moments of Clarity

by Tarlan



Category: The Abyss (1989)
Genre: Character Study, Community: smallfandomfest, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-12
Updated: 2010-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-13 15:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was confused and hurting, but he was a soldier and he had a duty to perform for his country.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments of Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SmallFandomFest FEST08 (Dec 2010)

**First Moment**

Eight hours stuck in a decompression chamber with Lindsey Brigman had been torture. The self-opinionated, heartless bitch never seemed to know when to simply shut up. He understood her frustration but as far as he and his men were concerned, they were on a rescue mission first and foremost, and every hour debating it meant a lower chance of finding survivors. She had made it clear that she had a lot invested in this deep sea rig but he could bet she would have been screaming just as loudly at the US government for help if it had been her precious rig and her people in the same predicament as the _Montana_.

He wondered if she treated everyone with the same disdain. Yes, she was intelligent and even pretty, but her self-absorption made him feel sick to the stomach. He'd dived enough times that being in a decompression chamber was not a novelty. He and his men knew how to pass the time but her need to argue, her need to point out all the flaws and bemoan her sacrifice was driving him insane. By the time the door was opened, he had been holding onto his last nerve where she was concerned.

Perhaps if he had not felt such animosity towards her, he might have asked for help when he realized that the tremors and anger was not simply due to her annoying presence. He was falling sick, probably with the onset of HPNS, but he had not wanted to give her that satisfaction of seeing him weak. He couldn't afford to be weak when he had his duty to perform. Anyway, they would be back on the surface before he deteriorated too far.

***

 **Second Moment**

The warhead was securely strapped to _Big Geek_ , hanging over the top of the moon pool ready to be taken out, but Coffey hesitated. He sank down onto an equipment case and let his fingers slide along the chain used to lift heavier items in and out of the water. He was confused and hurting. His commanding officer had given him orders topside--phases 1, 2 and 3--that should be followed on command.

Phase 1 had been simple enough.

Accessing the _US Montana_ to determine if there were any survivors caught in air pockets within the downed submarine was only part of those orders. He had specific orders on top to remove the booklet that gave all the necessary codes and ciphers for launching the nuclear warheads. If it fell into enemy hands then it would severely compromise national security, allowing the enemy to take control of all their nuclear armaments. The remaining order was to ensure that the nuclear warheads were _safe_. Despite the ever-increasing shakes, he had followed his orders explicitly, fulfilling his duty.

No one had survived on-board the _Montana_. 156 lives lost, and even though he had known what to expect, the sight of those floating corpses had filled him with grief and had increased his anxiety. Swimming through the _Montana_ felt like defiling a grave even though they moved through her with the best intentions. Stripping the keys from her dead captain and taking from her seemed like grave robbery but it had to be done. Perhaps the only consolation was that they had located no air pockets at all. There had been no one lingering for hours in the cold and dark, struggling far longer for those final precious gasps of air, all the while praying for someone to save them. All of the crew had died quickly: drowned.

When something was spotted in the water close to the wreck of the _Montana_ he had no choice but to assume the worst, that it was a Russian remote-controlled submersible surveying the wreckage with salvage in mind. The US government could not afford to let all those warheads fall into Russian hands. He was ordered to carry out Phase 2, and when he sent his team to take the flatbed, he knew he would be endangering everyone in the deep mining platform but he had no choice. They had to retrieve a single nuclear warhead to prime and hold in readiness, just in case they had to move to Phase 3. He wished Brigman and the other civilians could have understood that he wasn't deliberately trying to shut them out or kill them. He wished they understood why he had to follow his orders.

He just didn't have a lot of choice.

By the time the rig settled on the edge of the abyss, having been dragged there when the crane linking them to topside collapsed and went over the edge, Coffey was down two men. One lost completely--according the 'ratboy'--when Cab 3 overturned on top of him, and the second had broken a leg.

The state of affairs in the world above seemed to mirror his own deterioration, and even though he was aware that he was succumbing to HPNS, he still had his duty to his country to perform. He had to remain strong, fighting off the lethargy that was creeping through him so ominously. Pain had kept him awake and lucid, but it had also added to his problems as salt water stung in the parallel cuts in his arm. His thoughts were clouded, his body growing numb, and he had no contact with his superiors above. All he had was the knowledge of what he had seen; the existence of something hidden in the abyss that must have been responsible for the destruction of the _Montana_ with the loss of all lives. Whatever was down there, it had struck the first blow and it might be only a matter of time before it attacked again.

Lindsey Brigman was convinced these alien creatures meant no harm but that was a lie. How could it be the truth when the _Montana_ lay in deep water with her hull split open and everyone on board drowned? His most satisfying moment had been taping her mouth shut. But now it was just him, sitting here alone by the moon pool with _Big Geek_ and a nuclear warhead, wondering if he was doing the right thing or if madness was driving him onwards to destruction. The clinking of the chain pulling through his fingers had a mesmerizing effect, and he could feel the heavy pull towards sleep.

He wanted to sleep so badly. He wanted to close his eyes and drift away...but he had his duty.

Phase 3. Use the warhead to neutralize any threat to the US. Use it to ensure no one else could gain access to the _Montana_ 's arsenal of missiles. Protect his country.

He was supposed to wait for a direct order from his superiors but they were topside in a hurricane out of contact; and he was down here, sitting in a damaged drilling rig on the edge of the abyss with a potential hostile lying even deeper below him.

What should he do? Should he continue with Phase 3 despite the lack of a direct order, or should he wait for the storm above to abate. Wait for orders like a good soldier, or use his own judgment. Except he wasn't certain if he could trust his own judgment any longer. What if he was wrong? What if the high pressure sickness had already clouded his judgment?

The tiny splash of water directly behind him sent all his confusion skittering away.

He was a soldier. He was under attack. He had his duty...and for all he knew, they were at war.

***

 **Final Moment**

The flatbed was damaged, refusing to move under his command. Through the front screen he could see Lindsey Brigman but she wasn't gloating at her victory. He could see on her face that she felt something for him other than anger or disdain. Compassion or pity? He didn't know which, but he knew in this moment of clarity that he had let the sickness and his contempt for her increase the paranoia crippling him.

He was hanging over the edge of the abyss both mentally and physically. He could feel the pull towards the darkness and he was afraid. He had never meant to harm anyone except out of duty, out of necessity for his country.

In his final moment of clarity, he realized that he didn't want to die.

END


End file.
